Archive for the ‘Summer Semester ’09’ Category

As the summer semester came to a close…

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

I have to admit that I failed on my quest to write up ANYTHING about SOMETHING that happened during each week of the summer semester. Sorry. I would never have guessed that the schoolwork alone would take up so much of my time that a seemingly 200 word post would be out of the question.

The transition to a PA program is not in any way similar to just “going back to school”. Going back to school insinuates that it is in some way going to be at the very least, characteristically familiar to a past school experience. Not only have I never had to work so hard, I also have never wanted to work so hard.

As the summer semester began I struggled to do well. I was scoring in the low 80′s on my exams. I was walking in to the lecture halls feeling like I just tried to memorize an encyclopedia. There were troubles reciting the information orally and written exams often became the enemy of the day as my lack of knowledge trickeld out eventually logic would as well followed by organization and penmanship.

THINGS HAD TO CHANGE…

And they did. There is not a lot of time for sleeping. At the beginning of the semester I was heading to bed after the 11 o’clock Sportscenter. I would sleep til 8 a.m. and be in class by 9.  In the end I was making coffee with dinner, studying til 2 or 3 and sleeping on a bed made of books. I would awake at 7ish shower and review until class. It is amazing what a slow start or unimpressive grades can do to someone.

The largest transition for me came with the clinical application of the material that we were learning. I have had to memorize large amounts of material before. I have had to remember flow charts and diagrams. But with a PA program it is assumed that by the time you sit for the exam you not only know everything covered in class but also how it is applied to medicine. Our summer long anatomy class which had a supplemental cadaver lab was an AMAZING experience. Lecture was a blur. It was at such a fast pace that it was a better use of my time to start studying where I left off the night before then to try to hurry through the lecture notes and digest new material at break-neck speed. In the 9 week summer semester a class like anatomy really walks the thin line of appropriateness with regards to the amount of material and the given time frame.  What saved this class was cadaver lab. Actually, what saved me was cadaver lab.

It was held every wednesday and the material being disected and reflected was material covered in the past  friday’s anatomy lecture. By wednesday I would have a just started to review/study the previous anatomy lecture. Fridays would become the introduction to new material and Wednesdays would be where the LEARNING took place.  Almost all of the past semester was a process in learning.  Often what was being learned had nothing to do with medicine or school but life and how to live in a new state at a new school with new people.

Eventually the study habits were straightened out and the grades improved a lot and the final GPA at the end of the semester shocked even myself. I am pleased with the transitions that I overcame and grateful for all of the people this summer that helped me a long the way.

First exam…

Friday, June 26th, 2009

This is not a good thing. I get my motivation for writing from things that I see or passionate feelings that I have about a certain topic. I do however understand that this site is FOR OTHERS, and it casually focuses around my existence here at school. So with that in mind I give you this…..

I failed. Yep, I sat here before you not wanting to write this but I knew deep down that this is what school is all about. Don’t get it all wrong, school is not about failing. However, there will be days when your thoughts don’t line up as coherently as they did when you were studying.  When muscle innervation and hypothetical patient complaints just don’t jog your memory of the correct diagnosis. When you get the spinal nerves for the the patellar tendon and calcaneal tendon switched. (knowing full well that you could have put the same answer for both and been guaranteed to get at least one right……but thought the test deserved better)

The anatomy exam covered 20 hours of lecture…..18 hours of cadaver lab, three text books, flashcards, hypothetical patient diagnosis, and all of the muscles, nerves, arteries and veins in the body, and the action that they all work so hard to perform.

With all of that material studied and having taken the evening before the exam to watch the Red Sox, I walked in to that test knowing that I had about an A- worth of knowledge on the topic. That being said this is what I mean….

If I were asked every question that pertained to all of the information that I was responsible for knowing…..If I were to sit there for a couple days straight and be comprehensively tested with every type of question (i.e true false, fill in the blank, matching, multiple choice) I would have gotten an A-.

The test was 75 questions. All multiple choice. 45 seconds per question, to be filled in using a #2 pencil and a bubble sheet. I sat in the back of the room and with 5 minutes to spare handed my test in. The frustration in a multiple choice test is that  ALL OF THE CORRECT ANSWERS ARE ON THE TEST. You are given a test and all of the answers to it and all you have to do is circle the correct ones and hand it back in.

Well…..I am not going to say that this was an unfair exam. There will always be questions on material that I “could have sworn we never covered” or topics that “didn’t deserve 7 questions out of 75″. There will always be information left out and other information that will seem to have taken a more prominent role in your testing . There will never be the option to sit down 1 on 1 with the Professor and be asked every possible question to accurately display your total knowledge on the topic of human anatomy. You are going to get somewhere in the ball park of 75 questions and you are going to be expected to select the right answers for all of them. I failed that first exam. They don’t just give you a Masters in Health Science degree 27 months after you were accepted.

You have to show up, study up and get ready to prove your knowledge day in and day out. This is not a game, the responsibility that you will have when you start working will be that of human lives…..loved ones…family members…the sick and the under-served. You will be glad you did well….and you’ll never EVER mix up your spinal nerves again.

I failed my first anatomy exam and the first exam of my PA school career. I got an 80. Anything under an 83 is failing.

What you’ll do when you die…

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

There are thousands of Americans that die each day. There are even more that are working on preserving their legacy upon death and making sure they are remembered in a flattering light. Humans are the only species on the planet that are afforded the rights to their own bodies upon death. Kind of an odd thing to think about…..”What am I going to do with my body when I’m dead?” Its odd in that YOU aren’t going to DO anything. You have passed on and are no longer taking up residence in what was your previous physical form. As we make out our wills and set plans in motion for our last couple weeks and the week to follow, we would like to imagine that we are still in compliance with those social norms that surround us. That we are not a burden or a distraction or a financial drain on those that we hold so dear. We hope to be in possession of all of our faculties and live out our last days with a sunny disposition surrounded by our loved ones. We would like to divide up all of our belongings and pass the last of our long winded stories on to the generations below. I can only imagine that it is an odd/strange/sad/thing to die and no amount of preparation will ever be seen as enough. I imagine I will never be of good enough fortune to write about my last moments on earth.  I will miss those that I love and be sad to no longer continue my observance of their life journey. I would want to see all of my friends and family do well. I would want to witness hardships and stand and clap with true pride in their hard fought accomplishments, and I want them to know what I feel. 

I can’t understand the feelings that go with each passing soul, the limitations of life and its definative finality. I like to think that the soul leaves the body and goes to _________, and is able to rest. Reasoning would have it that my body would be left behind. A aged monument for the life and times that I had. The scars still apparent and its form still echoing of a place that I once upheld. My body as my castle and I as its ruler. The frame of which I was once known to occupy now lies dormant. 

There are people in this world that see the human body as I do now. They are those that see the human form as an awe inspiring miracle. A glimpse in to the life and then inner workings of a person so selfless that they donated the only thing they ever truely owned.

It is one thing to make arrangements for death, it is a completely different thing to make arrangements to keep on living………………..

As a cadaver in a human cadaver lab you are alive and well in the hearts and minds of those students that surround you. Students like myself are in the position to learn so much about you and even in your passing learn so much from you. You are donating your body for the enrichment of those that will save lives, treat patients and possibly heal your loved ones. You are giving a gift from which limits can not be set. The good that your body provides will forever be felt in the thoughts and conversations that we as practitioners will have for years to come. We will never know your family, we will never understand why you chose to donate your body for our beneift …..but we want you to know that the gift that you gave us was touched by the hands of 50+ students, disected and reflected by 5, but healed thousands….

I want you to know that in donating your body you changed lives. You spoke volumes without having a voice. You made a donation of the greatest kind without ever be present. For the rest of my clinical life I will be but a beneficiary of your gift and never able to pay you back.  But I want you to know…

that you will be with me always…..that your gift was heartfelt……that your ability to think about the future meant thinking about me…….that out of your ability to make a such a huge decision, you will ease so many medical descisions to come……that you were not wasted….that you were respected…..that you were spoken to daily with appreciation and gratitude….that you were PA student as we learned together, yet you were the teacher from whom I learned so much……that your body was marvelous, breath-taking, and left us all to wonder………How great of a person you must have been? How you could have been so thoughtful in life and enabled it to resonate in death?  How your soul was no longer present in cadaver lab but we all hoped you were.

You gave a gift that so many can not. For personal, religious or any other reason there are few people like yourself. In passing you gave a gift that will forever be felt. You passed with the knowledge that you were not done yet…..that there were lives to be touched and people to meet, even in death. You lived on, in our hearts and minds for the 9 weeks we were able to spend together. You were talked about in class, in lab, over coffee, during car rides. You were a celebrity of whom could do no wrong….you represented the right answers on all of our exams, you were our study guide, our partner in learning and a role model.

No one gets to live forever. You will be missed at the end of this semester and all those to come…..you have represented my favorite class and the only person of whom I can’t repay. Life is a funny thing……eventually your time runs out here, but that doesnt mean you have to leave. When your clock stopped, youre heart didnt skip a beat.

What you’ll do when you die tells alot about a person. ……….THANK YOU….